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My Mate's unfortunate demise

    You know it's funny being up here without visiting me mate, he lived just up the road, Moomagoomi way. Incredible bloke he was, had the mind and body of a twenty year old man, and yet at the time of his unfortunate and tragic demise he was well over seventy.

    Eggs were his secret he reckoned. It'd all started during WWII when he'd been the sole survivor of a shipwreck off the infamous island of Komodo off Indonesia. He spent the rest of the war high on a rock ledge eating various kinds of seagull eggs due to the fact that anywhere else he would surely fall prey to the devilish Komodo dragons that lurked everywhere beneath.

    In 1945 he was spotted by an American reconnaissance flight standing like superman on the ledge, wind in his face and arms out-stretched. Naturally they sent in the Marines. Amazingly he went back there the following year to start his incredible egg collection.

    I can't actually remember the first time we met, but I heard it was at my Christening. Apparently he'd been stirring a religious crisis in the vicar by attending every church ceremony or service, on and on at him about egg-power until at the ritual moment of the wet cross on the forehead the vicar suddenly realized the egg came before the chicken, saw God himself and passed out. Lucky my Mother caught me...

    Anyway suffice it to say we became mates over the years in fact in the last 30 odd years I've been his only mate. Strange really...

    It must be his pets. They're all perfectly tame of course he having hand reared them all from birth with obvious love and benevolence.

    He's got a 38 year old Kodiak bear, a two toed Sloth, a Vampire Bat, an Aardvark, and a Dugong to mention a few - but I must say my two favorites  (apart from the Great White Shark in the dam) are his Anaconda and of course the Komodo Dragon. It's amazing really how they all got along so harmoniously; a testament to his training skills they were.

    He used to dress up the 10 foot tall Kodiak Bear in a massive butler's uniform and sit drinking kava with the Komodo Dragon using the Anaconda as a couch and the Sloth as a footstool. The Dugong lived in the bath and was the nearest thing he had to female companionship.

    He also hat the weirdest cat and dog I ever saw. Apparently  his grandfather had been given a breeding pair of each by this old Tasmanian lady Truganini: ANYWAY the cat was the size of a big Red Heeler with all these stripes across it's back and a bad attitude. The dog was squat black and hairy with the wickedest set of fangs. It hung about slavering and growling constantly, but even it loved him and would never hurt him.

    So anyway I've been dropping in up there to see him every year for the last ten or so to check out what's hatching.

Up until last year that was.

Terrible really what happened.

He'd met this spaced-out quasi-hippy chick down at Mullimbimby. She was pregnant at the time and had two other kids. He'd gone down there to a battalion reunion - she thought he was twenty seven he was actually seventy two; they fell in love.

    He started driving down there. Ended up spending more time away then at home. Then he brought her home.

    Should have known better really. Nobody else except me had ever been to his place, especially not a female two kids and a baby.

    The son was the first to go. He got hugged to death by the Kodiak Bear which is not so bad:- sadly the vampire bat chimed in and drained every last drop of blood. That happened while my mate was still showing her around the property. The daughter was probably more fortunate, she was consumed whole by the Anaconda and formed an almost imperceptible bulge in the couch.

    My mate had never foreseen this problem having had nothing but love and devotion from his little darlings up till now. It was obvious his pets were expressing their resentment at this new infatuation.

    When he found the baby's skeleton being licked clean by the forked tongue of the Dragon which had plucked it right out of it's cot after tiring of sitting on the couch with the loving couple watching TV, he decided to take his first ever strong disciplinary action. For the first time in their lives his pets were banished outside.

    Estranged from the only parent friend and lover they ever knew, they pined, became embittered, then angry!! Fuelled by pain and jealousy their love turned to hate. Even the gentle Dugong who was now forced to share the dam with the rapidly growing adolescent Great White Shark became surly and unyielding.

    I guess no-one will ever know how it was for them barricaded inside that house - laughable really...Can you imagine the barricades required to stop a parentally-deprived Kodiak Bear on a do-or-die mission? The whole place was only made of fibro...

    Anyway to cut a long story short I stopped by there just before I came here - it was like a war zone!!

    No signs of life animal or human save for egg shells - hundreds of them, some smashed to pieces others neatly broken in half - some fine and delicate, others coarse and leathery.

    I guess his pets are out there somewhere, who knows where...Probably in the hills not too far from here.

I just hope that Komodo Dragon wasn't a female...

                                    THE END

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